Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: The Unique me

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: The Unique me: "Today i woke up with the thought of 'wow its a good day today' yes that was probably in ice cubes voice. And truly it was. I got up took my ..."

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: what is evident

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: what is evident: "this morning, yes im saying this morning i woke up and was immediately reminded of my purpose in life. A coworker of mine told me one day th..."

Separation of Church and Self

I hate the title of this post, but in all honesty it's reality for me. I've been a part of different churches and religions over the years. I spent some time in college researching religions of the world. I considered converting to Islam in high school; defended Hinduism and Buddhism to my colleagues who were practicing Christianity.

We are all searching for a Higher Power; Something or Someone to believe in. Ultimately we all want to be happy - Well most of us. Why did I switch that to most instead of all of us?

Growing up, I always believed that people wanted to be happy. Many have searched in churches, synagogues, and in some cases... beer bottles. I asked a friend about her happiness. She appeared to have everything going for her; a good man, a good job, and financial security. So I asked her about her happiness. She said she was... somewhat.

She couldn't be truly happy because she had too much going for her. So instead of being happy, she was afraid. Afraid that everything she had, would be taken away; so instead of enjoying life, she lived in fear. This lead to her bringing drama or minor squabbles into her relationship. When things were unsettled, she felt more at ease. Everything was in alignment.

Until she realized that many of her friends began to pull away, and her relationship with her guy was no longer as strong as it used to be. He also began to pull away, searching for other ways continue to be happy. Friends and work made him happy, so eventually, thats where he ended up spending most of his time. So this woman... this Christian woman who once had everything was now feeling lonely and sad.

Once she came to a realization, they both began to rebuild their relationship- and are still working at it.

Fear is a powerful emotion. Fear can increase your insecurities and take everything that you have and turn it upside down. It can make your belief system feel like a load of BS. It could chase away good man or woman, cause you quit your job, and leave you on an island all by yourself.

So, in turn, I believe that religion is not always the answer to those inner demons- unless you actually apply your beliefs and your faith. I pulled away from churches and I focus on my own spirituality and inner healing. Although, I myself can get lost along the way.  However, I am learning to feel free knowing that I am not labeled by a particular sect, but would like to walk into place of worship without judgement.

My only concern is: are they judging me and sizing me up- preparing to convert the newcomer.

Who I Be

Sometimes I hate this damn mask. It's the mask I created many years ago as a strategy for survival. We all wear masks. Its the way we survive at work, in school, at the mall, on the court and sometimes even at home. Sometimes we wear them to keep ourselves safe. Sometimes, we wear them to keep others safe.

Fortunately, the Misses knows about the mask. She even helps affix it in the morning and remove it at night. We long for the moment when I will lose the mask altogether....but until then, those who don't know me will just have to wait.

My Failed (?) Attempt at My First Fitness Studio

The summer of 2010 was supposed to be My Summer. It was the summer of dreams, the summer when all that I had worked so hard for would come to fruition. I partnered up with an old friend who was searching for a fitness studio to call her own, while I was looking for a home-base for my personal training and Beachbody fitness company. We found a site, signed a month-to-month lease, and brought in our equipment.

We networked all over Quincy, Mass and held auditions for local fitness enthusiasts. Although the turnout was MUCH smaller than we had anticipated, we were still very hopeful. After all, this came together too easily. It was meant to be. Wasn't it?

Grand Opening was scheduled for November! It was the merger of minds that would not fail....

My Beachbody Coaches are still with me,
working hard at making this a reality. 

And then suddenly, the magic began to disappear. The crowd we expected to come beating down our door, never even made a peep. I was beginning to spend so much time away from home trying to make this happen, that I felt myself pulling away from those who supported me the most. Even my original clients, who were dedicated to their exercise regimen, refused to troop over to my new fitness studio.

What had I done? I relocated to a site where those who I actually served could not access me. My family didn't see me because of all the running around I was doing, and I was drying up all of my savings to make this "dream" a reality. Then after a while, I noticed that they only thing in the studio was my sweat... not my presence. I was promoting, paying, and stressing- and I hardly ever stepped a foot in the door.

So, after a long conversation with my wife and my VP, I decided to pull out of this joint venture. My decision- not theirs. I am glad that my business partner and friend has decided to work at keeping her part of the business going. She recently started a pole fitness class there.

But for me, I pulled my equipment out and am the process of relocating. I'm back to focusing on at-home personal training until I bring the Mind Ur Body Fitness Wellness Center into fruition.

It will appear in the divine time, and not a moment sooner.

Someone asked me if I feel saddened by my departure.

My response? I feel relieved!

My wife and I know that our dream is not over. We are
no longer at the beginning of the journey, nor are we
very far from our destination.

Mr. Nice and Lonely Guy

I texted a friend of mine recently and was kinda taken aback when once again my offer to hang out and have some "bro" time received another rejection response.

"Sorry, can't. Been kinda busy lately."

Okay, okay, I was kinda pissed at first, but sent an LOL along with a few other words.

After a few attempts over the past few weeks to get together, I finally get it. Everyone gets busy, and since I'm the one who works for the school system, and am blessed with a ton of vacations, holidays and snow days - I get bored easily. Especially having two months off during the summer can drive you insane if you don't have anything planned and you end up sitting around everyday. But hey, it's a blessing and I want to make sure this doesn't come across as a complaint.

However, I guess at times I can appear to be a pest. I know that when I'm working throughout the school year, I don't always have time or may not be willing to make time, to just hang out. Sometimes, I just want to curl up with the family or read a good book. Finding something to wear, a place to meet, a time to meet, and then having to troop it out in the cold, can be more of a burden then anything else.

So, instead, on this day in particular, I contacted a client and we had an intense workout session at the gym. It did wonders for the both of us. Especially the cardio. The release of the endorphins really made a difference in how I felt. The feel good effect. So I left the gym feeling good, as I usually do.

So, no hard feelings towards you, buddy.

Life happens!

What am I Doing Tonight?

I'm pondering the next move for the evening. I was supposed to hang out with one of my former students, and catch up on old times. Well, we text back and forth almost every week, but we haven't seen each other in like five years. We lost contact after he left the school, but thanks to Facebook, we reconnected. Unfortunately, he's still at work waiting to be relieved, so we may have to reschedule... again.

Life is a challenge for many, and although I have my own struggles, I am a cheerleader and supportive "teacher", "counselor" and "bro" to a lot of my friends and former students- as well as to myself. I keep them in my prayers, and encourage them to reach for their dream... be it the stars, the moon, the sun, etc.

He sent me a text a few weeks back after  I commented that he is a great guy. His response means a lot to me.

"Thanks bro. I owe part of that to you. You already know. If it wasn't for you or my godfather I don't believe I would've gotten the enlightenment I have now... And I'm still evolving."

When I speak to my former students, and I see what they can become, it makes me push myself even harder to be the best darn role model I can be. These young brothers and sistahs have a lot of potential, but may have been distracted by circumstances. I don't blame The System (too often), I blame the circumstances. We can all amount to anything and become anyone we want. There are NO excuses.. only circumstances.

And what we decide to do from being in those circumstances makes us who we become. The ball is in your court, so what are you gonna with it?

So, instead of sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs, I put my fingers to the keyboard and added another post to my blog. Productivity is key for me. I got the ball, and do to my circumstances, I had to make a quick decision. My decision was to do something constructive and productive. And then I'm going to come up with some creative ways to do some cardio without waking up my daughter in the morning. Lol.

Now what are you gonna do?