Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Leave the past where it is... in the past!

It's sometimes tough to get over some of the negative emotions that have stayed with us since our childhood. It's actually pretty tough to get over something that happened last year. Just think of this... last (as in year) rhymes with past (as in past). It is time to move forward and create new energy. I have spent weekends... and sometimes weeks, in my own personal retreat, fighting to get over someone's negative comment.

Yes, it can hurt, but unless you KNOW FOR SURE that you can approach the person in a way that you won't offend or be re-offended, its may be time to let go. Sometimes I ask myself, will it make a difference if I say something to this person? Were they trying to offend me...or did they hit a trigger point that they were not even aware of? There are some situations, I've learned, when it is better for me to just remove myself from harm's way. Maybe, just stop going to lunch with the person instead of continuing to be verbally assaulted for the slightest misstep.

I control how I feel. I create my energy and I refuse to let others have access to it. I walk away when its time, and I stand my ground when I need to.  But I will not allow someone else control how I feel inside. Let them deal with their drama, while I move towards success. Exercise definitely helps me get there. When I run an extra five minutes on the treadmill, do an extra few bicep curls watch my weight drop while my strength increases, I know I have grown. I am empowered! No one can take that away from me.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Get it Together Brotha!

How many times have you asked... begged... pleaded... prayed for something more? How many times have you been so devastated because you haven't received it (or maybe you have)? I'm that dude who requests more, prays for more, and is sometimes lost if it arrives... when I'm not truly prepared for it. You know the saying, be careful what you wish for... you just may get it. Sometimes, in the moment, you are better off without it.

I've been asking for more of everything lately... a new house, to increase my fitness clientele, to have my own fitness location, the growth of my Beachbody business, etc. I even have a vision book, a vision board and a vision powerpoint slide show on my iPad. I have put so much energy into receiving these gifts...that I forgot to put energy into preparing for these gifts.

Do I have what I need to own my first home? I thought about this when a late payment notice arrived in the mail for my car note. Hmmm. I forgot to pay Verizon last month.WTH! Its not that I didn't have the money. I definitely had the money put away. I have just been so cluttered upstairs in the membrane.

My wife and I have a new addition to our family. A baby girl. It's awesome to be the dad of two beautiful princesses. So now when I think of my increasing fitness clientele, I wonder, when will I have the time to train them? Can I really afford (financially, emotionally, physically, and time-wise) to own a successfully fitness company?

I am in no way giving up on my dreams. They are, after all, the dreams of a father who only wants the best for himself and for his family. However, I need to spend the immediate moments, preparing for the road to success. If you are in my shoes, please stop and take a listen to yourself. Where are you right now? Are you prepared to receive your gifts? Maybe you should clean out your "basement" or your "closet" before moving forward or else you may end up with a like of junk piling up, with your dreams somewhere lost in the shuffle.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Words of the Day


We use certain words that have more power than we could ever imagine. We use words like "Hate" and yes, I am a culprit of usage.

Dictionary.com defines hate as an intense feeling of dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility. If we have that much passion for something, that much energy to waste- shouldn't we use it towards words that create positive energy?!

A friend of mine mentioned that to me, and a friend mentioned it to him. I am already in the process of changing my lingo.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

No I'm Not Conceited...I'm Convinced

Ha ha. That was just one of my comebacks when people called me vein, conceited, a Narcissist...and the list goes on. The issue wasn't that I considered myself to be anything more than average. The issue was (and sometimes still is) that I portrayed myself as someone who was filled with confidence, who walked with his head up, and who looked down upon those around me.

In actuality, I was someone who believed in my own abilities- but had much self-doubt. I walked around exuding confidence because I was too afraid to show how I really felt not-too-deep inside. I walked tall because I didn't want to give eye contact and for others to see the fear in my eyes. The one they called 'Nestlé' (my alter eager) was the one who appeared to have confidence. I even remember telling someone that I wanted to be as confident as Ed Green on Law & Order. Ha ha. That was many years ago.

Hmmm, so where does that bring me today. Today I do have the confidence I so eagerly craved during those Ed Green years. However, sometimes I have to dig deep to find it. It's a daily struggle, but everyday I prepare myself. Others may try to bring me down, but I know what I am capable of, even if I'm the only one that believes it!

About 5 years ago, I began building up my inner strength. The next thing I did was work on the outer...my physical appearance. I got a gym membership (and used it), I bought a mountain bike (and rode it) and improved my eating habits. It made me feel better externally, which impacted my internal strength.

I looked younger, felt stronger, and then almost got an 'S' tattooed on my chest. Just kidding.

But I felt good and I still do. And now I help others do the same thing.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Can I Be Human for About 30 Minutes?

"Sometimes, for brief periods of time, I'd get lazy, eat garbage, and blow off workouts. And guess what? Life got hard again." Those are the words from Tony Horton's new book "Bring It!" No, I'm not promoting the book (although I should...I believe I would get a percentage of the sell). I'm only promoting the realities of life.

Someone mentioned to me that my "healthy" eating habits are odd (she considered it "too healthy".. I consider it to be a "normal"). I don't shovel greasy beef burgers down my throat daily, weekly or even monthly. I don't drink soda, unless it's naturally flavored soda water like Izze, and I don't eat a lot of sweats. However, every once in a while I'll go to a birthday party and have a slice of cake. In all honesty, sometimes I just crave the stuff and may bite into a burger, eat half a chocolate cake and... no I still don't drink soda... well maybe ginger ale. Does that count?

Anyway, I guess I just want to be a human who can eat what he wants without others judging. If you don't want to know my eating habits, than don't ask. All I know is that when I eat something with a lot of calories, it just means that I will work a little harder in the gym the next day. Maybe I'll do two P90X workouts instead of one. Who knows? 

Well, Me. I know. 

When I eat garbage, it's not that I've gotten lazy. It's generally my cheat day, and I definitely make up for it the next day. I had a large meal the other day, and the next day I did a partial Shakeology cleanse. I felt good, I felt energized and I didn't hate myself. 

It's almost 10pm and I'm hungry. I think I'm going to have me a glass of Shakeology right now.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My Prayers Have Become Generic

Someone recently asked me if I prayed for my fitness studio- the one that closed down. By this they meant, did I pray for it to remain open and for the business to expand. "You've prayed for everything else in your life, did you pray for your business?" She asked me.

"Of course not," I said. "That would be a little selfish, wouldn't it?"

I'd rather pray for my family and for peace on earth. I felt that praying for objects, a better body, success and money was a form of greed. Instead, I decided to just work hard, use the law of attraction, and MAKE it happen. If I put it out into the Universe, it will happen.

"I still don't understand," she said. "If you believe... if you have faith, then why don't you pray for your ultimate dreams and desires?"

I couldn't respond, because I didn't know.

For some reason, I didn't want to burden God. I didn't want to ask him for "frivolous" things like a fitness studio. I wanted to "use" my prayers to ask for forgiveness, more meaningful relationships with my family and friends, and good health."  I never want to be a burden on anyone- parents, friends and especially God. I thought it was dissolute to ask for such things.

So I asked myself, what do I pray for?


I used to pray for everything.  I would have actual conversations with God. I asked for love, job and financial security, and the ability to support my family, guidance, support, wisdom, courage, and self-confidence, direction, calmness, etc. the list goes on..

Sometimes I prayed so hard tears would pour from my eyes. Now, I give God two minutes of my time and I'm off to bed.

Hmmm.... I think it's about time that I turn this computer off, do some push ups and then get on my hands and knees and pray.

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Quote for Me

“You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own.” – Mark Victor Hansen

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Life...in general

Sorry I missed last week's post, but I was proud to repost a blog from my fam. Modifying the Mind...

That post touched me deeply, and reminds me of my own journey. Sometimes I wonder, when will I reach my destination? Will I be satisfied... finally? And is there really a destination to reach? Sometimes I feel like my life is in an aircraft. I sit around doing ab crunches and bicep curls, but I never actually land. I'm staying afloat, in the clouds of life, not really sure where to land. Hawaii seems nice... the Seychelles appear to be quite welcoming... L.A. has my name written on it... Boston or Bust... And the list go on.

My father always tells me that I take 'me' where ever I go... and that I will be successful where ever I end up. Now that thats clear, where the heck to I want to land so that I can finally have the success I've been searching for? I guess the journey continues.

Who's coming for the ride?

Friday, April 29, 2011

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: The Unique me

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: The Unique me: "Today i woke up with the thought of 'wow its a good day today' yes that was probably in ice cubes voice. And truly it was. I got up took my ..."

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: what is evident

Modifying the Mind, Body, & Soul: what is evident: "this morning, yes im saying this morning i woke up and was immediately reminded of my purpose in life. A coworker of mine told me one day th..."

Monday, April 18, 2011

Separation of Church and Self

I hate the title of this post, but in all honesty it's reality for me. I've been a part of different churches and religions over the years. I spent some time in college researching religions of the world. I considered converting to Islam in high school; defended Hinduism and Buddhism to my colleagues who were practicing Christianity.

We are all searching for a Higher Power; Something or Someone to believe in. Ultimately we all want to be happy - Well most of us. Why did I switch that to most instead of all of us?

Growing up, I always believed that people wanted to be happy. Many have searched in churches, synagogues, and in some cases... beer bottles. I asked a friend about her happiness. She appeared to have everything going for her; a good man, a good job, and financial security. So I asked her about her happiness. She said she was... somewhat.

She couldn't be truly happy because she had too much going for her. So instead of being happy, she was afraid. Afraid that everything she had, would be taken away; so instead of enjoying life, she lived in fear. This lead to her bringing drama or minor squabbles into her relationship. When things were unsettled, she felt more at ease. Everything was in alignment.

Until she realized that many of her friends began to pull away, and her relationship with her guy was no longer as strong as it used to be. He also began to pull away, searching for other ways continue to be happy. Friends and work made him happy, so eventually, thats where he ended up spending most of his time. So this woman... this Christian woman who once had everything was now feeling lonely and sad.

Once she came to a realization, they both began to rebuild their relationship- and are still working at it.

Fear is a powerful emotion. Fear can increase your insecurities and take everything that you have and turn it upside down. It can make your belief system feel like a load of BS. It could chase away good man or woman, cause you quit your job, and leave you on an island all by yourself.

So, in turn, I believe that religion is not always the answer to those inner demons- unless you actually apply your beliefs and your faith. I pulled away from churches and I focus on my own spirituality and inner healing. Although, I myself can get lost along the way.  However, I am learning to feel free knowing that I am not labeled by a particular sect, but would like to walk into place of worship without judgement.

My only concern is: are they judging me and sizing me up- preparing to convert the newcomer.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Who I Be

Sometimes I hate this damn mask. It's the mask I created many years ago as a strategy for survival. We all wear masks. Its the way we survive at work, in school, at the mall, on the court and sometimes even at home. Sometimes we wear them to keep ourselves safe. Sometimes, we wear them to keep others safe.

Fortunately, the Misses knows about the mask. She even helps affix it in the morning and remove it at night. We long for the moment when I will lose the mask altogether....but until then, those who don't know me will just have to wait.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Failed (?) Attempt at My First Fitness Studio

The summer of 2010 was supposed to be My Summer. It was the summer of dreams, the summer when all that I had worked so hard for would come to fruition. I partnered up with an old friend who was searching for a fitness studio to call her own, while I was looking for a home-base for my personal training and Beachbody fitness company. We found a site, signed a month-to-month lease, and brought in our equipment.

We networked all over Quincy, Mass and held auditions for local fitness enthusiasts. Although the turnout was MUCH smaller than we had anticipated, we were still very hopeful. After all, this came together too easily. It was meant to be. Wasn't it?

Grand Opening was scheduled for November! It was the merger of minds that would not fail....

My Beachbody Coaches are still with me,
working hard at making this a reality
And then suddenly, the magic began to disappear. The crowd we expected to come beating down our door, never even made a peep. I was beginning to spend so much time away from home trying to make this happen, that I felt myself pulling away from those who supported me the most. Even my original clients, who were dedicated to their exercise regimen, refused to troop over to my new fitness studio.

What had I done? I relocated to a site where those who I actually served could not access me. My family didn't see me because of all the running around I was doing, and I was drying up all of my savings to make this "dream" a reality. Then after a while, I noticed that they only thing in the studio was my sweat... not my presence. I was promoting, paying, and stressing- and I hardly ever stepped a foot in the door.

So, after a long conversation with my wife and my VP, I decided to pull out of this joint venture. My decision- not theirs. I am glad that my business partner and friend has decided to work at keeping her part of the business going. She recently started a pole fitness class there.

But for me, I pulled my equipment out and am the process of relocating. I'm back to focusing on at-home personal training until I bring the Mind Ur Body Fitness Wellness Center into fruition.

It will appear in the divine time, and not a moment sooner.

Someone asked me if I feel saddened by my departure.

My response? I feel relieved!

My wife and I know that our dream is not over. We are
no longer at the beginning of the journey, nor are we
very far from our destination

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mr. Nice and Lonely Guy

I texted a friend of mine recently and was kinda taken aback when once again my offer to hang out and have some "bro" time received another rejection response.

"Sorry, can't. Been kinda busy lately."

Okay, okay, I was kinda pissed at first, but sent an LOL along with a few other words.

After a few attempts over the past few weeks to get together, I finally get it. Everyone gets busy, and since I'm the one who works for the school system, and am blessed with a ton of vacations, holidays and snow days - I get bored easily. Especially having two months off during the summer can drive you insane if you don't have anything planned and you end up sitting around everyday. But hey, it's a blessing and I want to make sure this doesn't come across as a complaint.

However, I guess at times I can appear to be a pest. I know that when I'm working throughout the school year, I don't always have time or may not be willing to make time, to just hang out. Sometimes, I just want to curl up with the family or read a good book. Finding something to wear, a place to meet, a time to meet, and then having to troop it out in the cold, can be more of a burden then anything else.

So, instead, on this day in particular, I contacted a client and we had an intense workout session at the gym. It did wonders for the both of us. Especially the cardio. The release of the endorphins really made a difference in how I felt. The feel good effect. So I left the gym feeling good, as I usually do.

So, no hard feelings towards you, buddy.

Life happens!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What am I Doing Tonight?

I'm pondering the next move for the evening. I was supposed to hang out with one of my former students, and catch up on old times. Well, we text back and forth almost every week, but we haven't seen each other in like five years. We lost contact after he left the school, but thanks to Facebook, we reconnected. Unfortunately, he's still at work waiting to be relieved, so we may have to reschedule... again.

Life is a challenge for many, and although I have my own struggles, I am a cheerleader and supportive "teacher", "counselor" and "bro" to a lot of my friends and former students- as well as to myself. I keep them in my prayers, and encourage them to reach for their dream... be it the stars, the moon, the sun, etc.

He sent me a text a few weeks back after  I commented that he is a great guy. His response means a lot to me.

"Thanks bro. I owe part of that to you. You already know. If it wasn't for you or my godfather I don't believe I would've gotten the enlightenment I have now... And I'm still evolving."

When I speak to my former students, and I see what they can become, it makes me push myself even harder to be the best darn role model I can be. These young brothers and sistahs have a lot of potential, but may have been distracted by circumstances. I don't blame The System (too often), I blame the circumstances. We can all amount to anything and become anyone we want. There are NO excuses.. only circumstances.

And what we decide to do from being in those circumstances makes us who we become. The ball is in your court, so what are you gonna with it?

So, instead of sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs, I put my fingers to the keyboard and added another post to my blog. Productivity is key for me. I got the ball, and do to my circumstances, I had to make a quick decision. My decision was to do something constructive and productive. And then I'm going to come up with some creative ways to do some cardio without waking up my daughter in the morning. Lol.

Now what are you gonna do?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Beachbody... Success???!!

I am not saying that I have not gained any success from my involvement with Beachbody, but what I am saying is that I'm tired. It is a major challenge getting my name and my affiliation with Beachbody out to the masses, when Life is taking up so much of my time. If I follow the Game Plan, I am "guaranteed" success. However, I work 7:45a - 4/5pm and I come home to a beautiful little girl and a lovely and loving pregnant wife who has to be in bed by 8pm due to her own work schedule.

My loving and supportive family, the day
I reached Diamond -Level Status!
Up until the end of 2010 and early 2011, I was dedicated to the growth of my Independent Team Beachbody business. Look at what I was able to accomplish- I went from 3 coaches to about 12 in a matter of three months, and reached Diamond-Level status by the first week of 2011. I believe in the product, I use the product, and I became a product of the product. I am also making money from the products. But, I'm tired. I'm exhausted from thinking about everything I want to accomplish, everything I want to do.
This is where I want to be!

The vision is so clear as to where I want to be. I can feel it until it burns. Sometimes it's like watching an HD movie. Lol. It's literally that clear. I can even taste it. However, it's not here yet. Beachbody will be a part of everything that I do for my wellness organization. I am in it for the long run, but for right now, I just need to get some rest.

Although, I am beginning to feel accomplished, I am extremely exhausted.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The 10 Things I Am Most Grateful For

I went to the gym this morning. Third day in a row, and I felt... feel... really great. Tomorrow I do an at-home workout with a Beachbody DVD.

Confidence has crept back in to this fiendish mind of mine. Success is coming. When? I have no idea. I put it out into the Universe. I have placed it in God's hands, and now I am taking the ride. There are all sorts of detours along the way, but it's coming.

Some may say that it is already here, and until I recognize what I have, I won't get much further than where I am right now. So it's time to appreciate- My Life!

One of the Affirmations from The Secret's daily teaching app inspired me to recognize that gratitude and appreciation is important for success to jump-off.

"Gratitude is a powerful process for shifting your energy and bringing more of what you want into your life. Be grateful for what you already have and you will attract more good things."

Here are the ten things I Am most grateful for-

  1. My loving wife and family
  2. An awesome apartment
  3. My health
  4. My internal strength
  5. My financial status
  6. My job (employment)
  7. My education
  8. My determination
  9. My wellness company
  10. My friends and relatives
I Am grateful for my inventory of achievements!

Affirmation for Empowerment

This is an affirmation that I was blessed with, over ten years ago. It is from the spiritual leader Iyanla Vanzant

I just recently found it on on old CD-Rom. It helped me for years, and I'm about to begin reflecting on it again. 

This is the first time I've shared it with anyone...

Affirmation for Empowerment

There is a universal power seeking an outlet through me.
The instrument of universal power is my mind.
Today, I believe in the power. I believe the power is right where I Am.
I understand this is a power for good. I realize the power flows through me as my divine right.
Today, I accept the presence of this power.
Today, I believe the power is operating in all of my life’s affairs.
Today, I acknowledge that there is a divine power instructing me in all that I do.
Today, I affirm divine power as the active presence of joy and happiness in my life.
Today, I deliberately turn from everything that is confusing and denies the reality of God’s power in, as and through me.
Today, I know that every atom, every cell, every tissue, every organ in my body is brought into divine health and harmony.
Today, I know that every shadow of doubt, worry, and fear is dispelled and I Am quickened with the power of the living spirit in me.
Today, I Am graced with the presence of spirit. Today, I Am blessed with the love of spirit.
Today, I Am strong in the glory of spirit. Today, I know I Am the power and glory through which spirit is working.
Today, I affirm that the living spirit within me now breathes newness into my being.
I Am filled with good.  I Am filled with light. I Am filled with faith.
I Am filled with the truth of my being, which is enduring, dynamic, and devine.
Thank You Spirit! Thank You Spirit! Thank You Spirit!
Let it be so! And So It Is!

- Iyanla Vanzant

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Where the "F" is My Happy Place?

That's a pretty provocative title. But, I'm serious. WTF- Where is it?

I'm supposed to be the one helping others feel better about who they are and what they need to do to get there. It's always much easier to preach it then to live it.

We all struggle with getting and maintaining a happy interior and exterior. We all get the blues, we all have great moments when we cant help but crack up because something is so hilarious. It's like a pendulum sometimes, and I wish more than anything I could tie a string around the happy side and just stay there. But that ain't gonna happen (hate to sound so pessimistic), but I have to continue reaching for it and working at it.

  A special... and exhausting moment  
For me, like many others, happiness is an everyday struggle. Exercise makes me feel better, completing projects make me feel better, and reflecting on the positive things in my life often gets me through the struggles.

Unfortunately, sometimes as a PROUD dad, I don't find the time to workout the way I would like to. Then there are those major projects that I just can't complete... and of course I get frustrated (and at times may shed a tear). That makes it harder to look at the positive past and envision a successful future.

"You're not ready for success!" I hear in my head. "You won't succeed at anything."

In those moments, it's like nothing works and feels like I will never gain more than what I currently have.

I've been dealing with that damn voice for as long as I can remember, and some days it's a bitch to fight, so I crawl into a little corner and think about how "horrible" my childhood was and how I will not be able to provide for my family because I'm a "loser".

So what I have to do is PRAY, talk to people, read books, and recreate my immediate world around me. On the walls in my office I have framed many of my accomplishments, awards and pics of the fam.

They help me fight The Voice. But, I'm not gonna lie, it's still a struggle.

And I must say... I'm in that struggle right now. So again I ask, WHERE THE "F" is my happy place?


K.Mike, the Trainer

Mind Ur Trainer - The Beginning?!

No, I'm not re-jumpstarting my blog... again. I'm just taking it in a new direction. My direction.

For the past few years, I've been forcing myself to write what I think the public wants to read... what sells... and what would make me some money. And how far have I gotten? Well, I have 5 followers, nothing has sold, and I've made zero dollars through this medium.

I'm not angry, frustrated or upset. I'm just doing some self-reflection and accepting that for some time now, this blog, which is about me, is not mine. It's just another person out here in cyberspace trying to use popular key words and labels to draw in readers, hoping for a loyal following.

Someone recently asked me who I am and what I do. I told them that I was a psychotherapist, fitness trainer and Beachbody Coach- thinking that it would immediately peak his interest. The combination is awesome! Well, at least I thought so.

He said that I didn't answer his question. I was stumped! I thought I was very straight forward.

His response threw me off my game and he had to explain what he wanted to hear me say- You ARE a person whose profession IS to help other people feel better about themselves.

Uh, duh!

He explained that my titles didn't define me. They were just titles. They don't fully tell people who I am or what I do or why they should "chose" me.

So now, this blog has become my journey. I will write when I want to write. I will tell what I want to tell, and my hope is that this blog... my journey, will help others start (or continue) on the road towards internal and external happiness.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Healthy New Years Resolution

I downloaded this video from an organization that supports nutrition and health. We have already reached the month of February and we are still going strong (or may need a pick-me-up) towards our goals.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It's Never Too Late to Start Your New Years Resolution

You may have gotten off to a good start with your Exercise Resolution in 2011. You did a few push ups on January 2, or maybe you dusted off the treadmill with the goal of hopping on by January 4. Now, look at a calendar- do a double take if you have to- and notice that it is already January 26 and that treadmill may be starting to collect dust again!

Don't fret, there is an answer! Use it!

Just because you have not been as active as you would have hoped, it is not to late to make the effort to start an exercise regimen. Even if it means you are only exercising once or twice a week to start. At least you are taking your goals and your health seriously. Why wait another 339 days before the 2012 New Year to get motivated again?

Start it now. You will be amazed how great you will look and feel December 31, 2011. And next year, you can start with a new goal, because this one has already been fulfilled! Good luck and keep me posted on your progress.

Follow me on Facebook at facebook.com/Mindurbodyfitness